19th February 2020
Welcome to the Podcast # 3 Script of "Shift to EnergyJoy and Beyond!" with Lisette Lucas
Welcome to my third podcast! It’s great that you are listening. The first podcast was about intuition, the second about energy and now, following on from those themes I made this third podcast.
Today we're going to talk about: setting boundaries. It’s a hugely important topic which may seem easy, but in practice usually turns out to be anything but.
You will learn in this podcast:
First of all: what does it mean to set boundaries?
Three tips to indicate your boundaries, which you can start with immediately.
My personal experiences of setting boundaries.
How limiting thoughts and learned patterns can get in the way of your willpower, and affect you on a conscious and subconscious level.
What % of your daily existence is run on old software.
One of the most important rules of the mind.
And you will receive the specially created “Setting Limits is Love for Yourself” * meditation with light hypno-therapy ingredients created by me.
In the show notes of this episode you can find everything including the download links:
And (energy) Joy!
What is setting boundaries?
You can express boundaries in many ways, but in my view setting boundaries is: love for yourself. You do it out of love for yourself and because you know that you are worth it. Take a moment to think of a time when you were completely in love.There were romantic weekends, butterflies everywhere, everything was rosy… Yes, can you feel it? Step into that feeling again: what did you want to do for that person? How important was that person? Well if you really were deeply in love, that person was the most important thing in the whole world and beyond, you would do anything for that person.
Now think, who is really the most important thing? Who have you been in a love affair with the longest? Well? Yes, with yourself. I'll tell you now, chances are, if you're having trouble setting boundaries, you won't put yourself first either. When really that’s the whole point: putting yourself first, building a loving relationship with yourself, all your beautiful and (in your opinion), all your less beautiful facets. Everyone has flaws, I sure do. Acknowledging these and embracing them is the most important step in setting boundaries. You must love yourself and know that you are worth it, that you are enough and that you matter 100%. So, put your arms around yourself, give yourself that hug, and think or say out loud: I am worth it, I am beautiful, I am proud of myself…. How does that feel? Good? Or does it feel strange? If there is resistance, you should download my free meditation as it can really help clear this.
Setting boundaries starts with yourself, putting yourself first, and no, that is not selfish; because if you are not there for yourself, you cannot be there for someone else.
Now, as promised, I will give you three tips to set your limits.
Tip 1: Be clear about what you do and don't want. The trick and the keyword in this is to feel. So feel what you do and don't want and then say it. Speak from your point of view, say:
I do not feel comfortable with ……
Or I feel uncomfortable when I ……
Or It feels painful for me when you...
You can always act from your point of view, from a place that shows your vision. When you act from this place, you act out of love towards another and you share your emotion and experience. And remember: what you give, you receive back ...
Tip 2, tell yourself: setting boundaries is easy and I do it with love. As you think and / or say this out loud, feel this self love flowing through your body. If you are struggling to picture this, then think of that feeling of love for another I got you to visualise earlier. Doing this links an emotion to the thought, and emotion is the most powerful tool out there. So say it, feel it and lastly, envision it. Visualize yourself sitting, walking or lying in a big heart, with a colour that comes to mind. Your subconscious mind knows exactly what colour is right for you at the moment. The first thing that comes to mind is the right thing. Do you remember the: within three seconds line from the first podcast? Trust your inner knowing. Repeat this several times a day until it is no longer difficult for you.
Tip 3: allow yourself a moment for yourself each day. As a self-employed, mother of three children I know I can be busy 24/7. But I choose not to be. Why not? I know that if I did I would drain my batteries and lose myself. In other words, I’d lose my personal boundaries. I always take a break in the day, and have done so for so long now my children don't know any different. Whether it is just a meditation or hypnosis moment, purely to reset, align and ground myself in my authentic self. It’s always an act of self-love. I have been doing this since they were little and so they leave me alone, especially now they are teenagers and are used to it. I know in previous generations it was considered "weak" and it was "just not done" to take a moment for oneself. But I also know it’s one of my greatest strengths, to choose something for myself so that I can be fully present for everyone again afterwards. Don't underestimate it, taking this time for yourself is so essential and important for everyone! Even 5 minutes works wonders. I advise you to take a moment for yourself each day that lasts no longer than 30-45 minutes. Do not go past the hour limit because it will affect your biological rhythm when you fall asleep. My free meditation can help you with this.
As I already mentioned: With this podcast you will receive the specially created “Setting boundaries is love for yourself” meditation with light hypno-therapy ingredients.
Thanks to the meditation effect it is a wonderfully relaxing meditation, and thanks to the light hypno-therapy ingredients it works on the subconscious level, so that you transform lovingly. On the subconscious level, many things are stored including old patterns and outdated habits. This “Setting limits is love for yourself” meditation can be seen as a wonderful update for your internal software. Think of it as a gift to yourself purely because you are worth it. Think how often you update the software of your mobile, notebook or PC, regularly right? If you don't do this, you will get bugs and everything will crash. So you take good care of your digital friends, but how well do you take care of yourself? How often do you update your internal software? Many people run (to stay in computer terms) on software from their childhood. Namely: in the first seven years of your life you live in a kind of hypnosis state. You store everything you receive in information on your hard drive. And if you do not update on a subconscious level, then, whether you are 20, 40 or 60 years young, you are running on software that was put on your hard drive in your childhood. It’s amazing when you think about it, especially when you consider that 95% of the time you run on the software that is installed at the subconscious level. Yes, I said 95%, and your subconscious mind is always on, day and night, 24/7. Only 5% is aware… Well I thought this was a real eye opener when I realized this. An absolute wow… just think of that famous iceberg, 95% is below the waterline, and only 5% is visible.
Knowing this you can immediately understand why setting limits is sometimes or often difficult. That 95% at the subconscious level is always in the majority and beats that 5% in the conscious here and now. If you try to set limits from willpower, you are using your thinking mind, which works solely through that visible 5%. This makes the chance of success slim. You may be successful in the short term, but after that you are guaranteed to fall back into old patterns. There is always an emotion linked to a pattern from that 95% that wins over your willpower. Remember: emotions are always stronger than thoughts. You can really want something, but if your feeling says “no”, what do you do?
You don't do it right? You may (very sincerely) like to set your limits, but if an underlying (subconscious) feeling links it to a negative, painful experience then you listen to that feeling. In the here and now, you no longer know where, when and why it originated… but you listen to it, you listen to that feeling. For example; perhaps an incident at primary school, in which you were laughed at in a similar situation. As a young child you may have decided: I never want to experience that feeling, that humiliation or pain again. Even now as an adult, you will respond in the same way, despite all these years having passed. It’s astounding when you think about it.
I can tell you one rule of the mind: your mind always moves you to pleasure and away from pain. I repeat again and write this down if necessary: your mind always moves you to pleasure and away from pain. Therefore, in the "painful memory of the emotion of a similar event, your subconscious mind will always keep you away from that situation, place or person".
For example: a woman has a fear of flying, but no idea what has caused this. She has never had a bad flying experience. However, on closer examination during a session (and completely at a subconscious level), it appears that in her youth she had gathered all her courage to share her fear. Unfortunately, that boundary was completely ignored and ridiculed by someone else. This painful situation gave her a strong sense of helplessness and the feeling that she was losing control of herself; because someone else took control of her actions. At that moment she decided: I never want to experience this feeling again! And so it is that she developed fear of flying because she wanted to keep control.
I will delve deeper into the rules of the mind in subsequent podcasts. It is such an interesting matter.
I would also love to help and assist you during your transformation. That's why I created this meditation. What is important for the best result is that you listen to this meditation every day for at least 21 days. That is the time it takes for your mind and body to integrate it. It’s the download time of the new software, so as to speak.
Just go and feel what it does for you. Promise me one thing, today you will write something, after you listen to this recording, write for yourself how you feel. Then compare that feeling with how you will feel in three weeks, three months and one year. Transformation is sometimes fast, sometimes gradual, but it is always cumulative even though sometimes you think: nothing happens! But then you look back after a year and suddenly you think, wow, what a change I went through!
Also pay attention to the people you spend time with, they will also notice that something is changing, they usually cannot put their finger on it and ask ‘have you been to the hairdresser’, ‘do you have a new outfit’? There is something, even if they can’t say what…. It made me laugh a lot myself and I felt a wave of joy and gratitude flow through me when my own children said: Mummy, there is something wrong with you, you are so happy! I was a little surprised at first and then I understood, that's my transformation. I rise with a flow of gratitude and love for myself, and everything and everyone around me anywhere in the world. And that feels wonderful.
But believe me, I speak from personal experience and have seen so many wonderful results with clients and students, after transformation sessions.
I would say experience it for yourself, all for free. And why free? Because I believe in the law of Karma, whoever does good, meets well. Whether you share a smile with a total stranger on the street; let someone go ahead of you in line at the checkout; or share knowledge and meditation with people who are open to transformation, growth and insights. It is a gift for everyone. So I give this to you in the hope that you will give something to someone else. That is all I ask in return. A smile, a helping hand, a listening ear. Such a small gesture but if we all did these then the world would be a much more beautiful place. I know that if everyone helps one person, it makes an immense difference. I hope you are that one person. That sincerely fills my heart with joy!
Either way, the meditation is wonderfully relaxing, take a moment for yourself. In the morning, afternoon or evening before going to sleep. Whatever is most pleasant for you. One thing is very important: do not listen to the meditation in the car or other vehicle you are driving or while you are working with heavy machinery. This is because of the relaxing effect of meditation, it is better to err on the side of caution.
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