28th july 2021
Podcast 78. Embrace Your Triggers: Acknowledge The Emotion, Break The Pattern And Come Out More Powerful Than Ever Before! + 5 Steps
Have you experienced this: Something triggers you and then your emotions run wild with you … ?
In this podcast you’ll learn how to discover the core of your trigger.
And will be amazed at the real emotion.
As soon as you see this, understand it and apply the steps yourself, your life will immediately shift!
(Shownotes can be found at: www.lisettelucas.com/78)
Welcome to Podcast #78!
It’s great to have you here!
Emotions, wow … as an empathetic, sensitive or maybe even highly sensitive person, you know better than anyone what it is like to feel. And to feel deeply. It can be wonderful and your experiences can be intense. Such enjoyment, appreciation and gratitude for all creations and their subtle beauty, scent, colour or sound.
Along with all the beautiful facets of emotions that can let you relax, bloom and grow intensely. Emotional frequencies that instantly shift your energy.
That is the positive, pleasant side of emotions and being sensitive. Emotions that fill you with joy, just think of the EnergyJoy vibe. EnergyJoy, the name of my podcast, the name of my company. The frequency I live in. The vibes that make you smile, emotions that make you feel peaceful, help you to enjoy the moment.
And then … Yes, then … you have the other side of emotions. The heavier side (or very heavily named): the negative side of emotions.
But to clarify right away: this podcast is here to help you shift, shift to the EnergyJoy vibe and beyond!
So, if you really want to transform, change and grow in your life then I want to say now: stop multitasking and pay attention! Seriously, no kidding, what I'm about to share could instantly change your life right now. Yes, do I have your attention?!
Because if you walk with heavier emotions such as anger, a tense, restless feeling, sadness or loneliness.
Then this can help you enormously.
Recently something happened to me that spontaneously triggered an intense sadness. Totally out of the blue. I was taken by surprise because I thought I had really transformed and broken through a lot over the past few years.
Well, not so … because suddenly that moment arrived. When I was in a happy, grateful vibe, I sent a message to someone who is very, very dear to me. Along with a visual memory from many years ago. Purely from my experience, perception and memory to a nice and precious moment.
Which is when it happened. The heavy emotions which came up then were the complete opposite of the experience and emotions, which I had linked to that particular moment, day and time from years ago.
I was shocked and felt immediately attacked and overwhelmed by an intense sadness. Something hit there that I didn't understand at first and it really took me over for a while. And yes, I let my emotions run wild.
And then suddenly I thought, after my tears had dried.
Hey, wait a minute?
What's happening here?
Why are these emotions still so intense?
What is being triggered here?
Why does this touch me so deeply?
Because honestly, the unexpected emotional response immediately activated my curiosity. And yes, also frustration which is an interesting emotion to dive into as well.
So the question I asked myself:
What are these triggered emotions trying to tell me?
And from that frustration:
Which layers have I overlooked?
So I started trying to dissect and decipher the emotions for myself.
And I did that very simply. I just asked myself this question. If necessary, write it down for yourself as well. If you want to follow this route.
What did I really feel at that moment?
I was emotional and in tears. Touched deeply.
In itself that was special because I now know - what someone else says to me is purely a reflection of the experience of that person.
So it has nothing to do with me.
As such, the fact that it triggered me in this way indicated that it was mirroring and touching something in me that could be healed and transformed.
And so I went there.
I embraced the trigger, the emotion and in this case, the sadness.
I acknowledged it and felt it. And then went through the top layer, as it were.
The layer that expressed itself as the emotion of sadness.
I felt the sadness and became curious what lay underneath it. So I fell through that layer.
Just below that lay frustration. And then I went through that layer of frustration. What was under there? I also encountered anger.
And from that layer I had a realisation, passing through the anger brought something up.
There I immediately felt like: ‘ I am not seen or understood.’
Ahhhh … I thought. Now we're getting somewhere.
So I started to embrace those emotions of not being seen and not being understood.
How did that feel?
It immediately gave me the feeling of getting smaller, literally and figuratively, as I went back to the past. And another absolutely essential thing: A feeling of not being good enough and not being worth it.
It brought me back to my 1st boyfriend in my teenage years.
I recognised this feeling. At least that was my 1st association … and what I thought was the crux of it.
But then I felt myself going back even further. I went back to little Lisette, who always meant so well but then was put in her place. I heard my father's voice. He could respond curtly at times, which could be intensely painful and made me so sad as a little girl.
Then I cringed. I love my father dearly, don't get me wrong, but he could be dominant and react very curtly and disinterested. Purely because he had a lot of stress and tension in his mind because of his company and everything that was going on. (Yes, I know that now. And I understand that now.) But little Lisette didn't understand. And thus felt unseen, misunderstood and therefore also got the feeling that she was not good enough, was not worthy and was not loved.
Something that is so, so essential to get from your parent(s)/guardians. To receive and feel above all.
By the way, I have the feeling that I was around 4 years old at that time, so this memory is the core!
Eureka moment! I have found the most essential trigger! Wow! And so you see. It really is that simple but intensely powerful and healing!
And that is the key!
I didn't push the sadness away! Which is actually the easiest and most natural way to react, because we want to run away from sorrow. We don’t want to feel it for long.
But now I know (and this one is also very important to remember, really!), so take this with you: ‘The feeling that can't find it's expression through tears, will cause other organs to weep.'
I experienced that myself when melanoma cancer revealed itself a few years ago. On my arm, of course - the place where you can stroke someone to give comfort and courage.
So yes I can say now, as I am past the eye of the storm, that I feel the cancer was a reaction to all the emotions I kept to myself. All the things I didn’t talk about, but kept inside, as I had learned to: ‘Don't talk about issues, don't talk about what's going on in the family and most of all pretend everything is fine’.
And yes, that literally started eating away under my skin. The tears, the sadness that all happened in the deeper layers had to express itself in a different way … Hey, 'because other organs to weep.' It appeared to be so. As a result, I came face to face with death. That's how it felt. It was an absolutely powerful and very painful lesson, one that I can and may share with you now, when I look back as a pearl of wisdom and depth.
So that's why I now know and understand: embrace your trigger! Embrace the emotion! Look at it! Become curious, sink through those layers and see and feel when it first emerged.
As grown up Lisette, I can now look back and understand that the 4-year-old Lisette was saddened by the 'curt reaction'. And the emotions that came with it.
But now I understand it had nothing to do with me. That my father loved me very much then, just as he does now. At most, as a young girl, I triggered something in him from an old part of himself. And that's something I know too. He had been brought up strictly in that regard and kept in check.
So in this way through this insight, the heavy emotion immediately takes on a different meaning!
So yes, I can honestly say now. I am grateful for the reaction I had recently. I certainly didn’t feel that at the time, but when I transformed it, I could say that it was appreciated and certainly admired the honesty that came up. And also being able to pronounce it. Because that's something I didn't really know how to do before.
I embraced it and therefore did not react directly from pain in that moment. Even though it would have been easy to, I chose to react purely from love.
So I let it flow for a while.
But above all I chose love for others, love for everything and everyone and above all: love for myself.
Something that has helped me tremendously to heal an old piece and face a trigger.
So I send love to all layers that have experienced and will experience these emotions. Because let’s be honest, there will always be triggers. Let's just say life being life, like the ebb and flow of the tide, is always moving. It’s just how life is and it’s what makes it beautiful, powerful and sometimes difficult. But we can only recognise the beautiful moments when we have embraced those moments without beauty in them too.
Most importantly though: how do you deal with these less beautiful moments?
Do you respond directly from pain or from a real, authentic place? The place that resides in each of us. Free and liberated from old pieces that usually don't even belong to you!
And that's why I say: Embrace your trigger! Embrace your emotions! Just think of that onion from podcast #75. Those layers.
My sadness was on the surface as the first reaction.
For others, this first layer can be anger, frustration, unrest, emptiness or loneliness.
I have grasped the sadness with a curiosity and deep desire to grow and transform. Like I'm the detective of my own life.
I fell through those onion-like layers. Which is actually very simple and easy t